Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
