Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize