So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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