I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Even my vagina gasped.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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