no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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