And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
