She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
