i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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