Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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