Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
