i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
