Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
