O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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