Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize