can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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