could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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