carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
false alarm, still single
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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