My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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