would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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