Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
your room smells of hookers.
And success
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My day in three words: secret purse cake
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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