My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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