Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I party with great urgency now.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
