Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
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