I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
