I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
