how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
