Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
