Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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