3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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