I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize