He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
