dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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