Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
