Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
