there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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