words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
