Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize