Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
