I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
