so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I enjoy the company of your penis
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
