Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
