so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
