I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
