Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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