sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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