Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
