sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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