Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
