This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
