I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
