Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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