16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize