Me. At least after what I've been through.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
