so explain again why im purple
no
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
