My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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