...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
