I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
