Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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