no, he came in my armpit
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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