If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
