when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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