Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
