Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
