yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
