I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he was CRYING into my vagina
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
