I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
