Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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