Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
