when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
