He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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