Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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