the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
