Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
