He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
