Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
