they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
