do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
