Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
