You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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